broken hearts

i remember as a 'kid' thinking my heart was broken. oh the drama. that was nothing
compared to what these little ones can do to me now.



i guess i was being prepared for motherhood. if only i'd have known, i would have learned the lesson a little better.

we started adding breastmilk into garet's bottle last week. he did not tolerate it well. we tried again this week, still no dice. we are thinking 1 of 3 things:
1-i haven't cut enough allergens from my diet
2-i haven't waited long enough for all the allergens to work their way out of my system.
3-he is allergic to lactose and no matter what i cut he won't be able to drink mama's milk because my body produces lactose to create the milk.

unfortunately we are leaning more towards #3...(for those of you keeping tabs on the diet...we are now at: no dairy, no eggs, no nuts, no wheat and no soy). we are still planning on adding in a few ounces every week or so but if the current trend holds he may not tolerate breastmilk at all. i know this shouldn't be a big deal, millions of children are formula fed every year, but i am a huge breastfeeding advocate so i stress about it. it is really taking a toll on me. not only am i having to care for an infant who drinks at least 2 cans of $40 formula a week, i am having to pump 4 times a day and am donating that to a milk bank in california. it makes me feel better, but as i package up my 2-300 ounces of breastmilk every monday i can't help but cry and know that all of this should be in HIM-not in bags in a cooler!!!!
there is a silver lining, some children grow out of lactose allergies by 6 months so i have 3 more to go and i'm praying, hoping and holding my breath that he will outgrow this.
........take another little piece of my heart.........
caleb has a 'jog across america' day at p.e. once a month. for every lap you run you get points, the class with the most points every month gets a trophy. my ultra-competive child quickly learned the more people he had come jog with him, the more points he would get. plus guests of kids get 5 points a lap instead of just 1. so today was the day. i rushed garet to my mom's work (she was still working but agreed to stroll him along until she got out in 1/2 hour or so.) then rushed over with ethan to the school (more people, more points). caleb was excited to see us especially since we were late and we started out great! ethan was entertaining all the big kids and showing off just like usual. we got about 1/4 of the way done with the 1st lap and noticed caleb much preferred to roll in the grass, chase his friends and goof off instead of jogging with us. so we left. it was so sad. i was heart broken. we had had so much fun together jogging in times past, he would even hold on to my hand as we ran along!! when did i lose my perch? do you think these kids actually know how strong of a hold they have on us? on the way to pick garet back up from mom's ethan said it best....
"my heart is sad"

veteran's day

so i'm a a week late, but heck-i have 3 boys, that's not bad...this week we talked a bit about veteran's day and how grateful and lucky we are for those who fought for this country. i wonder if they ever imagined it would be like it is today. i wonder if its just a coincidence veteran's day is so close to election day? anyways-caleb had last monday off which was a bit intense, but since the weather here is still gorgeous he enjoyed spending the day outside doing little boy things. you know-stick fights with the dog, potions out of dirt and leaves, and of course sliding down mud filled slides-it as great! we didn't really get a chance to talk about why he had the day off(my fault) but he talked a lot this week about veterans-who they are are, what they did, etc.. he's a pretty patriotic kid and loves the flag and (being so close to ft. bliss) he knows all about soldiers. so out of the blue yesterday comes this conversation. i tried to remember it word for word, but i am sure some will get lost in translation:

c:mom-do we have any relatives in the cemetery?
m: yeah buddy we do
c: who?
m: oh mostly people you don't know-most of them died before you were born
c: they're all DEAD?
m: well yeah-that's where dead people live
c: what??!! (totally appalled)
m:that is what a cemetery is, a place were dead people are

caleb is then quiet for a long time, seriously contemplating something. i wanted to ask what was up but figured to wait until he figured it out. after much thought, he hits me with this....

c: did any of them drive submarines???
m: did any of who drive submarines?
c: our relatives?!
m: do you mean, do we have any relatives in the military?!
c: yeah! you know-soldiers!!!!

i couldn't help it-i busted out laughing. then i had to explain to him that it just so happened that most of his relatives that were in the military are now in the cemetery-that was weird! not because they were shot or blown up (as would have made a better story according to caleb) but because they were old and have since died. i am grateful to those who did give the ultimate price for our freedom. i am also grateful for any who make the sacrifice to serve our country now-i know the military life isn't easy and i appreciate those who make that sacrifice. caleb loves soldiers, army stuff, guns, bombs,submarines, you name it he knows all about it. i am grateful for a son who respects those who fight for us. even if it is just because he thinks they get to blow up cool things.

VIVA Mejicanos

hope this spooky holiday finds you and yours well! ethan doesn't understand the whole 'three amigos' things so he has been telling everyone we are mexicans. whatever works...of course in a town like this, we didn't have to look far to outfit the entire family! believe it or not chacho's outfit was the 1st one we found!

the three amigos: sancho, chacho, and pancho

pancho, sancho, and chacho, with wicked felina

pancho, sancho, and chacho with...marty robbins? they never said his name did they?

time to trick or treat!

we hardly even know these people, but i though this was the cutest costume i had ever seen so i had to share! SHE even had a cape. viva nacho!

the smartest mexican in the family....chacho crashes-over stimulation!

priorties

so the last few weeks i have spent obsessing over these twilight books. jeremy totally supports my addiction and actually is the one who finally got me started on the series. now i am counting down the days until this! if they'd only quit changing the release date!!

so after putting off reading these books forever i give in and totally neglect my family and read all 4 books in a weeks time. then...in the middle of baseball playoffs, garet throws us our curveball! because garet wasn't acting like himself and had 1 dry diaper i called the dr. and ended up in the hospital with him for 8 days. after numerous tests including a colonoscopy and lumbar puncture (spinal tap) it was determined garet had acute allergic colitis which is fancy terms for an allergy to something he ate. since he is strictly breastfed it had to be something i ate and the most common allergy in infants is cow's milk. now.....i have cut dairy and soy (the 2nd most common allergy) from my diet. finally! he is thriving on the $40 a can formula and we are awaiting the go ahead to breast feed again. it has been a rollercoaster ride for us all as i am sure you can imagine. but i am hoping to be able to have my bonding time with this little guy back again soon and you can bet that time will not include me reading a book. i know it may seem weird, but i really enjoyed the uninterrupted 1 on 1 time with my new little man while we were in the hospital. life takes over too easily and it happens far too often that i let a swing entertain him instead of entertaining him myself. i am trying to worry less about the stack of laundry, clutter piles, and dust bunnies and am trying to take more time enjoying the perfect little blessing that i have been entrusted to care for. i am forever grateful for medicine that helps, babies that fight, family that supports, and most of all a father in heaven who knows every desire in my heart.

curve balls

blogging to you live from providence memorial hospital room 609 (located on the 3rd floor-how does that work?)......
just when you feel life is back in order enough to send out birth announcements, garet throws the curve ball of the year(hopefully-the year isn't over yet). friday during frantic house cleaning and preparation for company for garet's blessing (on sunday) we notice a bit of green substance that is questionable in his diaper. a nonchalant call to his doctor to check to see if i can cut dairy from my diet to get the color normal again, lands us in the hospital 2 hours later. here i have been for the last week. i will post new pics and video of our 'adventure' when i get home. for now, aircard is a bit too slow. jeremy said he may even try his hand at blogging the experience, so stay tuned. 1-2 % of babies are allergic to mommy's milk which is what they are thinking (after numerous other tests) this is. last poke count is 20. 1 on back,5 on hands, 4 on vein in elbow and the rest on his toes and feet. hope to be returning home soon and appreciate all your prayers, those are really what we need most.

big dreams

every year they have an airshow out at ft. bliss. we have meant to take the kids a few times but always seem to miss it, until this year...thanks to jeremy's luck with the local radio station we won tickets and hauled the boys out there. it was exhausting but luckily not too hot. garet slept through it all because i wrapped a blanket around his ears to block out the noise.

the boys had a blast, talk about something tailor made for little boys~!!

anticipation-the long bus ride in

the show:




bet you can hear these sound effects


the helmet was unusually heavy-hence the forehead wrinkles


the boys looked towards the sky and now they have big dreams.....

and then there were three

never again will we be even numbered. we are now taking wagers on how long it will take them to gang up on and over-throw us. how overwhelming..usually we can say you take him i'll take him, but no more....now one of us will have to take two!!!

sugar lips

sometimes as a mom i find myself with my heart overflowing with love for one of my kids. i try to remember those times because we all know there are times when our frustration is overflowing as well. so, today i am totally in love with my little ethan, and (right now) here is why:

1.ethan has the personality of a 10 year old.
this is something i have never seen in a kid before. he can hold his own with kids four times his size and loves it. even when his brothers aren't around he makes up with any kid and acts like he is just as old (and smart)as they are. many of them are extremely shocked that a 'baby' like him can talk.

2. ethan is totally oblivious to the fact that he has no hair!
i personally love his bald head and am a little sad that sometimes the back of his head looks nappy since i'm so used to no hair to nap. deep down i probably love it most because it still lets him look like my baby. we sing a veggie tales song about not having hair for our hairbrush. when i ask ethan if that song is about him, he just laughs and says......noooooo...... its about larry (the cucumber who sings the song).the way he says it is like that's the silliest question ever asked too!

3. ethan is the friendliest little guy you'd ever meet.
talk about a kid who doesn't know a stranger. whenever he meets someone new they quickly become a friend for life. he's pretty good about getting my consent first but then he makes right up and has even been known to kiss family members or grandma types he's never met before if they are smart enough to ask.

4. ethan has a cackle that is infectious.
No one can force a frown when ethan is laughing. he loves life and has a great sense of humor. how can you stop chasing him around the house when your reward is a whole hearted belly chuckle?!


5. ethan makes you realize what you sound like when you talk.
be careful of this one. he has been known to really let his brother have it! i just can't help but really watch myself when my 2 year old screams "you kidding me!? keey-lub". its hard to keep a straight face especially because he's really mad about whatever injustice he feels was done.

6. ethan loves to love.
he carries around his stuffed critters, baby doll, whatever he feels needs taken care of. he loves to cuddle and gives the best kisses. he also is the first to climb into my lap with a book and strokes my hair and tells me 'you preeeety mommy!" who could not give in to such blackmail?!

i'm not sure if i have a soft spot in my heart for a middle child and this is the reason ethan is so special to me, or if he really is a cool kid. i'll take the latter. i love all my kids, but right now i'm totally in awe of the cool kid ethan is and the extreme blessing i have to have him as my son. i sometimes think our father in heaven must really miss us at times. i know he misses ethan a lot of the time and i feel so blessed to be in trusted to raise him.
i love you sugarlips!

to PIT or not to PIT

here's my beef with pitocin......
caleb start to finish pitocin. i probably had 10 bags of it by the time he was actually here.
ethan- i had maybe 1 after he was born.
garet- i had 2 after he was born and i had to put my foot down about not having it before.
so.....i stepped on a scale yesterday. just for kicks, i am only 3 weeks out but feeling pretty good. i couldn't believe it, i am only 5 pounds away from regular weight!! yes i do stay pretty active, i walked caleb to school only 5 days after garet was born and went back to playing volleyball only 15 days after (don't tell my dr.!). but i can only accredit the quickness of getting back into shape to pitocin after birth! this is so weird to me, being that i was so adamant about not being induced, but
here i am just 1 week before arrival:


and here i am just 3 weeks after arrival:


i still have a ways to go and i am in no means bragging about how i look (to my benefit the belly flab can't be seen through a shirt!) but i am torn between the benefits of pit and the un-natural-ness of this drug. just something i wanted to get off my chest.

now i know you are all on here wondering who the heck cares and looking for pictures of the boys, so i will close for now and promise a real blog sometime later this week about the boys.

NOW WE ARE FIVE

Horray for our family!!!!! Now we have 3 beautiful baby boys and we are so blessed. Garet Javen Mullins arrived on August 23, 2008 at 11:37p.m. and is so precious. He weighed in at 8 pounds 4.2 ounces and was 20 inches long. Here is a slideshow of our endeavours to get him here.

Much to my relief Garet was not induced (forced out). At a Dr. appt. on Thurs. the Dr. agreed to let me try on my own until Monday when we would officially be over due. You don't even want to know the measures we tried to get him here, but something worked because my water broke at 6 a.m. on Saturday so off to the hospital we went. i was a bit annoyed because i knew i was not in labor and i would just have to sit there waiting to go into labor (which is exactly what happened), but all worked out well. i sat around feeling bored and annoyed until i started feeling the heat around 9 p.m. then a few hours later (11:37 to be exact) along came our little man, and we love him dearly. He squeaks like a little mouse so we call him Squeaky sometimes but the boys just laugh when he does it. They came to see him Sunday afternoon and fell in love just like we had. The hospital was great, the nurses fantastic and we had a pretty good all around experience. I don't want to go into the experience i had with the Dr. on call, but other than that and the fact that in this ghetto town someone who just had a baby finds it justifiable to steal a shower head from the shower (seriously!!!!) the experience was wonderful. we have wonderful friends at church who have been bringing in food to make sure my family does not starve while i find out exactly what after-birth pains are and remember how 'pleasant' it is to feel like a cow. we are so lucky to have my parent's close by to help with our biggest boys while jeremy and i checked out for a few days. They're probably the ones who deserve meals brought to them! Amongst all the chaos and shuffling of kids, Caleb had his 1st day of 1st grade on Monday, and Daddy was there to get him to school on time. Is it really okay for them to grow this fast?
we are loving these beautiful boys and hope you guys enjoy these pics too!



we are hoping this will allow us to keep in touch better. Feel free to leave comments, suggestions, pictures, etc. you don't even have to join to do it and can use your own email address (don't even need a google one!). we're hoping you are all well and can't wait for you to meet Mr. Garet. All our love!!!!

ode to boys

as we anxiously await the arrival of # 3 and field calls on an hourly basis on our status (like i have ANY control!!!!), i wanted to take a moment to reflect on life with boys.

i was cooking dinner the other day and reached into the 'utensil' drawer only to find a matchbox car in the mist of ladels, spoons, and what nots. what a great reminder of who lives at this house? upon further investigation i found the 'pan' drawer thoroughly reorganized (and not in the good way) and i have melted many plastic accessories in the oven over the past few months. needless to say our boys have become a permanant fixture in our kitchen lately and i have learned to check the oven before i preheat.

i know our life would be dull without cries of 'ethan....stop playing with your penis' or 'caleb control your body!' coming from the other room. if i didn't trip over a light saber everyday or have at least 2 balls under every couch my life would surely be unfulfilled.

i'm sure it sounds silly, especially to those of you without boys, but these little men are surely a different breed, but boy are they fun. we can only hope this new addition doesn't get swung out of his baby swing onto his head (as caleb has so nicely illustrated with the baby doll for ethan to see), or pelted with the deadly aim our 2 year old has with a football, and heaven help us all if they all can survive their parents...

the story of the lost teeth

caleb is now minus 2 baby teeth. after months and months of trying to get him to yank them they finally just fell. 1st on was a product of a sibling wrestling match so technically ethan kicked that one out. caleb responded, 'what the heck!?' as ethan saw the blood and we told him what happened, him comments were, 'that's gross brother...put it back'. the 2nd one we decided to hook to the remote control car and have him yank it out. this is how that went...............

caleb kept tilting his head forward as he gave it gas so the string would only slip off. after numerous tries, this is what happened. he was a bit terrified.

ethan thought this whole process a bit upsetting for a number of days, but now he tries to yank his own out. oh......the competition in this house is fierce!!!
sorry the videos are so lame. our video camera works only when it wants to and this wasn't a cooperative day so these were taken with our digital camera which doesn't have sound. don't worry you only miss out on us barking at caleb to stop putting his head forward and to close the door, the background is a mess.....enjoy!

the summer in review

Just a recap on our summer adventures. it has been a crazy one......
ethan turned 2
caleb turned 6
caleb graduated kindergarten
we visited carlsbad caverns
the boys went camping
we watched fireworks
took mud baths
had fun with cousins
went camping again
caleb lost 2 teeth
caleb became proficient (and bored) with t-ball

we figured to wind up the summer we would have a baby. nothing like going down with style.....here is a slideshow of our adventures. enjoy